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The simplest way to request additional parenting time is to start by speaking directly with the other parent. A verbal request can often lead to a quick arrangement, especially if both parties are on good terms and willing to cooperate. For instance, you could ask to have your child on Thanksgiving in exchange for them spending Black Friday with their other parent.
However, if you’re unable to reach an agreement, you may need to involve attorneys or a Judge to resolve the matter. If that becomes necessary, it’s important to act early. Reach out to your attorney well in advance—especially if your request concerns holidays. Waiting until the last minute could mean that the Judge is unavailable or unable to address your request in time.
Keep in mind that if the matter goes before a Judge, the outcome may not align with what you or the other parent had hoped. Whenever possible, it’s best to work these arrangements out between yourselves to maintain control and avoid potential disappointment. Open communication is often the most efficient and stress-free path to resolving parenting time adjustments.
If you and the other party can’t reach a resolution, a mediator can make recommendations and walk you through your various options. There are many different ways of resolving holiday time; because the mediator has years of experience, they can think of creative arrangements that might work better than anything you and the other party could imagine on your own.
For example, you might have your child stay with you on Christmas Eve and have the other parent pick your child up on Christmas morning. In other cases, you could reserve the weekend before or after Christmas, while the other party reserves Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Sometimes, simply sitting down with a neutral, experienced mediator can help guide you toward a solution that works and that everyone is happy with, avoiding the need to get the court involved.
If your ex-spouse refuses to follow the holiday schedule, the first step is to reach out and calmly let them know you’re prepared to pick up or drop off your children as agreed. If they offer excuses, such as the children not feeling well or last-minute plans, make sure to document your objection and propose alternative solutions, like arranging to pick up the children the following day.
Once the holidays are over, contact your attorney to discuss the situation. Keep a record of any missed arrangements, excuses, or lack of cooperation. Your attorney can help bring these violations to the attention of the court, where a Judge may intervene to ensure you receive makeup time with your children. It’s important to stay proactive in addressing these issues to protect your rights and ensure the schedule is respected.
It’s surprisingly easy to lose track of your holiday schedule or remember the date but not the specific details, like the time or location for pickup or drop-off. To avoid confusion—especially in high-conflict situations—it’s essential to establish clear, concrete plans well in advance. For example, if you have custody during Christmas break, decide exactly when and where the transition will happen. Will you pick your children up from school, or will the exchange occur at the other parent’s house? At what time?
In addition, ensure that special arrangements for events or family visits don’t result in lost parenting time. If the agreement allows your children extra time with “significant relatives” during the holidays, make sure those relationships are clearly defined. Does this refer to grandparents? Step-grandparents? Cousins? The more specific the terms, the fewer opportunities there are for misinterpretation or manipulation.
Vague or loosely worded agreements often lead to unnecessary conflicts and unfair outcomes. To protect your time and ensure everyone is on the same page, make sure your custody arrangements are as detailed and unambiguous as possible.
Attorney David Bliven is a hard-working, experienced family law attorney serving New York. For nearly 30 years, he’s helped clients just like you navigate holiday schedules with care, thoughtfulness, and an eye on his clients’ parental rights.
Have questions, or in need of legal help? Reach out to the Law Offices Of David Bliven at (914) 362-3080 for an initial consultation today.
The role your child’s preference plays in holiday scheduling largely depends on their age, the family dynamics, and whether a clear agreement has already been established. For younger children, preferences typically don’t factor in, as they lack the independence to act on them. However, older teens—such as 16- or 17-year-olds—may enforce their own preferences simply by leaving to spend time with the other parent.
For children around 13-14 and older, their preferences should be given more weight (as compared to middle-school aged children). Ignoring their wishes can put a significant strain on your relationship and create unnecessary conflict by forcing them into situations they don’t want to be in.
That said, sticking to pre-arranged plans is sometimes essential, particularly in high-conflict situations where a lack of consistency could lead to parental alienation. Ultimately, every case is unique. While it’s generally wise to take an older child’s preferences into account, it’s equally important to balance their desires with the need to follow established agreements and maintain a cooperative co-parenting relationship.
Long-distance parenting can significantly influence holiday schedules, especially when the distance between parents is substantial. For shorter distances, such as between New York City and Connecticut, holiday arrangements may still resemble traditional schedules. However, when one parent lives across the country, like in California, these arrangements require more careful planning.
In such cases, allocating extended blocks of time to each parent often works best. For example, one parent might have the children for Thanksgiving break, while the other takes Christmas break. Alternatively, for longer winter vacations, time can be divided, such as spending the first week of the break with one parent and the second week with the other, with travel on or around Christmas Eve.
These arrangements not only accommodate the logistical challenges of travel but also ensure that both parents get meaningful holiday time with their children. The key? Planning ahead and focusing on practical solutions.
If you arrange long-distance travel, make sure the flight leaves and arrives at a time that’s convenient for your child and the other party.
A Christmas Day flight to California will leave in the morning and get to California by the late morning or early afternoon, Pacific Time. Likewise, a flight from California to New York will not only take six hours but will get in late at night due to the Eastern Time Zone being several hours ahead.
Check for these variables and for time zone considerations whenever scheduling long-distance travel. Make sure your child is getting enough rest and sleep for their health, age, and school schedule.
If you’re facing a holiday visitation dispute, several legal remedies can help you resolve the issue. Start by contacting your lawyer, who can address the matter directly with the other party. You can also seek assistance from a mediator or parental coordinator to work together toward a solution.
If these steps don’t work, your attorney can file a modification or enforcement petition in Family Court to ensure the visitation schedule is followed. If your case was initially handled in Family Court or Supreme Court, you may file an order to show cause in Supreme Court to resolve the dispute and protect your visitation rights.
For more information on Negotiating Parenting Time During Holidays And Special Events, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (914) 362-3080 today.
Attorney David Bliven is a hard-working, experienced family law attorney serving New York. For nearly 30 years, he’s helped clients just like you navigate holiday schedules with care, thoughtfulness, and an eye on his clients’ parental rights.
Have questions, or in need of legal help? Reach out to the Law Offices Of David Bliven at (914) 362-3080 for an initial consultation today.
