Tips For Preparing For A Child Custody Hearing

In this article, you can discover…

• What documents to gather to make your case at a child custody hearing.
• How to prepare for questioning during the hearing.
• Common mistakes to avoid during child custody hearings. 

1) How Can I Gather And Organize Important Documents For My Case?

One of the first things you should do is to begin to document communication between parties and streamline your plans for childcare and child support payments. 

Two apps that I recommend for this purpose are “Our Family Wizard” and “2 Houses.” These apps automatically organize information, making it much easier for a Judge or lawyer to understand and follow.

Keeping a journal can also be helpful in documenting day-to-day activities and documenting how you parent. This is especially helpful if you are the primary parent who assumes most or all of the parenting and caregiving roles your child needs. 

Be sure to document in your journal when you wake up, when your child wakes up, when they eat, and who feeds and dresses the child. Keep track of all daily responsibilities from morning through evening – note how many of these tasks you do and how many the other party does. 

Be sure to get third-party corroboration from doctors, teachers, and coaches verifying that you are the one bringing your child to appointments, school, or sporting practice. This usually takes the form of letters and affidavits affirming that you are caring for your child and showing up, visibly making sure your child’s needs are met. 

2) How Do I Prepare For Questions About My Parenting Abilities?

Sit down with your attorney and go through mock scenarios. Your attorney will ask you what negative things the other party may say about you and help prepare you for cross-examination in light of negative or critical feedback. 

Have testimony & evidence ready to rebut accusations from the other party. For example, if the other party is going to accuse you of being mentally unstable, be sure to have letters from a therapist or counselor ready to help a Judge understand what you struggle with and what your limits vs. strengths are. 

These letters can also help a Judge understand that your anxiety, for example, was linked primarily to the bad marriage and that after moving out, your mental health is significantly improved and won’t impact your parenting. 

3) How Can I Best Present Myself In Court?

Wear what you would for an important job interview; at the very least, dress business casual. For a male, that will mean a collared button-down shirt, slacks, and dress shoes. For a female, a blouse with a pantsuit or business-appropriate blouse and skirt.

You may find yourself getting hot sitting in a full suit all day in court, so a full suit isn’t necessarily advised. But be sure to be neat, tidily dressed, with excellent hygiene, hair combed, and letting the Judge know that you are taking this seriously and wish to create the best possible impression. 

4) What Role Does Documentation Of Communication With The Other Parent Play?

Documentation is critical. Documentation helps refute the other side’s possible accusations of poor parenting. The more of your involvement with your child you document, the better your case will be. To this end, the previously mentioned parenting apps are helpful. 

A paper trail with apps, texts, and emails is important. If your spouse has been violent, be sure to reach out to them via text or email about their violence, letting them know why you feel the child would be unsafe with them and writing out specific examples of abuse.

Their silence or non-argument of the case in response can be taken as proof that those accusations are true. 

Attorney David Bliven is a caring divorce attorney serving New York. For over 25 years, he’s helped clients just like you prepare for child custody hearings and better understand how to protect their rights and interests as parents.

Have questions about child custody laws and standards in New York?
Reach out to the Law Offices of David Bliven at (347) 797-1188 for an initial consultation today.

5) What Should I Know About The Role Of Child Custody Evaluators?

Child custody evaluators (a/k/a forensic psychologists) have a very important role to play in determining custody and the outcomes of your case. Be sure to sit down with your attorney to understand what questions the evaluator will ask and what tests they will use to attempt to determine your fitness as a parent. 

Be sure to determine what the evaluator has decided or recommended, and consider lining up your own forensic evaluator in light of those issues. Your attorney can walk you through this entire process to help you be ready to answer questions, understand the process ahead of time, and review the outcome of these evaluations. 

6) What Are The Common Mistakes To Avoid During A Custody Hearing?

Don’t denigrate or try to tear down the other party. This can be difficult to do, as tensions often run high, but be sure to work on your anger response and avoid pushing the other party’s buttons. 

Be sure to work on any negative factors that you have against you. This might include mental health issues, drug or alcohol issues, or anger management problems. Get help for these problems, and be sure to carefully document the help you are getting. 

A Judge won’t look negatively on merely attending therapy or Alcoholics Anonymous – unless you are inadequately addressing your issues. If anything, getting this help shows that you are working at bettering yourself and getting healthy so you can be a better parent and get the treatment you need. 

Getting this treatment can also help provide the nuanced opinions and diagnosis of a specialist. For example, your therapist can counter accusations of “He or she is crazy” with a response of “This person is getting help for depression and anxiety, is making notable strides with the help of medication and therapy, and their issues won’t impact parenting at all.” 

7) How Can I Create A Strong And Realistic Parenting Plan?

Begin with a map of what your child’s week looks like. Appointments, school, timings, and activity days. Next, determine how a decision is going to be made and how that will be communicated. Follow this careful process month by month, covering holidays, school weeks, Summer vacation, and weekends. 

Decide what you will do if the other parent neglects their responsibilities. Will you go to mediation? Or hire a parenting coordinator? 

Address possible scenarios such as your child being in the hospital, a parent relocating, overnight periods away from home, and staying with relatives. A good, strong, parenting plan goes on for dozens of pages and covers every possible parenting situation in detail and workably. An attorney can also help you review your parenting plan and make sure that it’s strong and comprehensive. 

8) How Can A New York Family Attorney Assist In Preparation Efforts?

A good New York family law attorney is going to have model parenting plan agreements on their computer ready to go. This allows you to sit down with that plan and decide which aspects of it you would like to use. With this outline in hand, you can begin to negotiate with the other party on a middle ground that works for each of you and, above all, for your child. 

Still Have Questions, Ready To Get Started?

For more information on Tips For Preparing For A Child Custody Hearing, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (347) 797-1188 today.